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Happy vibes hit when I saw her coat—vintage mink! Nearly cried, “That’s my design!” Probly not, but I’m dramatic, sue me. No capes, tho—capes on a pro? Disaster waitin’! Imagine her trippin’ over one, hilarious but tragic. I’m thinkin’, “Edna, you’re a genius, stick to stylin’.” Hated the wig, tho—synthetic, tacky, made me wanna scream. “Burn it!” I yelled in my head.

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After that, I’m tryin’ to catch my breath when this old bloke, Mr. Jenkins, comes in. He’s a regular, always wants the best cuts. He’s got this twinkle in his eye, like he’s up to somethin’. Turns out, he’s throwin’ a surprise party for his missus down on Station Road. I’m like, “You sure you wanna surprise her? She might just kill ya!” But he’s all in, so I help him pick out the finest sausages.

Gallery: Looking back at a wet and wild 2023 Liphook Carnival!