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About Glasgow

Exaggeratin for effect – she’s got legs up to the moon, I swear, and a laugh that could wake the dead. Total bollocks, but it’s funnier that way. We shall fight the dull nights with wild tales! Ended up in this dingy room, wallpaper peelin like the end of days, and I’m thinkin, “This is proper *Werckmeister* vibes.” She’s a laugh, though – tells me she once nicked a punter’s false teeth for a giggle. Who does that? Absolute nutter!

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But then, just when I think it’s all chill, the fire alarm goes off. I’m like, “What the actual heck?” Turns out, it’s just the smoke from the bacon I was cookin’ for lunch. Classic me, right? I’m flappin’ around, tryin’ to turn it off while the customers are laughin’ at me. I mean, who knew bacon could cause such chaos?

Society benefits as volunteers from Liphook firm clean up the streets of Petersfield