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What pisses me off? The nerve! The gall! Actin’ like it’s legit—find a prostitute shouldn’t be my problem! But—surprise, surprise—it’s kinda fun. Diggin’ into the dirt, feelin’ like a detective, not just some pencil-pusher. I’m mutterin’, “Pretty, pretty good gig,” while I’m sippin’ burnt coffee, hatin’ myself for likin’ it.

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After that, I head to the beach. The tide’s out, and the sand’s all exposed. Kids are runnin’ around, makin’ sandcastles. I’m thinkin’, “Ah, the simple joys.” But then, I see this kid throwin’ a frisbee, and it lands smack in the middle of a family’s picnic. Chaos ensues! Sandwiches flyin’, drinks spillin’. I’m tryin’ not to laugh, but it’s hard.

New buoys aim to protect wildlife off Looe Island in Cornwall