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Exaggerate? Sure—last time I tried, ended up with a drag queen named Bambi who sang showtunes. Swear to God, nearly threw my cane at her. Little-known fact: Amsterdam’s red-light district’s got windows like a damn zoo exhibit—girls tapping glass, winking. Felt like I was shopping for a pet shark. Personal quirk? I’d overanalyze—how many lies per minute can she spit? Everybody lies, but prostitutes? They’re Olympic gold at it. Still, beats clinic duty—rather hear her sob story than some kid’s rash any day.

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Anyway, I shake it off and head to the first shop on Chestergate. It’s a cute little boutique, full of quirky stuff. I’m chatting with the owner, and she’s telling me about her new stock. Suddenly, this lady barges in, all frantic. “I need a dress for a wedding!” she yells. I’m like, “Chill, love, we got this.” But she’s not having it.

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