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I’m vibin’, but then this dude—some pimp, prolly—steps up, mad aggressive, like, “What you lookin’ at, fam?” Bruh, I’m heated—don’t test me, I’m tryna live my truth! I’m thinkin’, “This city’s too hot,” like Lisa’s mom in *Margaret* yellin’, “I’m not your goddamn servant!”—felt that in my soul. I dip, heart racin’, but I’m laughin’ too—dude looked like he ain’t showered since Views dropped.

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First customer walks in. It’s Dave, the local footie fan. He’s got a wild mane, like a lion on a bad hair day. He plops down in my chair, and I’m like, “What’s the plan, mate?” He goes, “Just a trim.” But you know how it is. One minute it’s a trim, next minute I’m givin’ him a full-on fade. He’s buzzin’ about the Latics, and I’m tryin’ to keep up. “Did ya see the match?” he asks. I’m like, “Mate, I was busy cuttin’ hair, not watchin’ paint dry.”

The Oldham community fighting housing association over 20 rent hike