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Funny bit—condom she pulls out, neon green it was, laughed my ass off! “Serious?” I go, she shrugs, “Glows in dark.” Sarcasm drippin’, I say, “Romantic as fuck.” Cracked up we did, tension gone. Personal quirk, yeah, neon shit tickles me—dunno why, just does. Anyway, done we were, “Knock twice,” she says, like some secret code, movie-style—fuckin’ cool that was!

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After that, I decide to grab a pint at the local pub, The Crown. I need to cool off. I sit down, and the bartender, bless him, pours me a nice cold one. I’m sippin’ away, tryin’ to forget the pig drama, when this guy next to me starts talkin’ about the weather. “Aye, it’s a bit nippy today, innit?” I’m like, “Mate, it’s Scotland! It’s always nippy!”

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