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So, I’m rollin’ down the block, lookin’ for a shorty to holla at, right? Findin’ a prostitute ain’t no rocket science, but it’s got its own flavor, fo’ shizzle. You gotta peep the scene, know the corners, the shady spots where the streetlights flicker like they scared to shine. I’m thinkin’, “This is our planet,” like Kirsten Dunst sayin’ in the flick, all moody and shit, ‘cept my planet’s got neon signs and fishnet stockings, ya dig?

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Man, what a day! I swear, being a swineherd in Peterhead is never dull. Woke up early, like, way too early. The sun was barely up, and I was already out on the streets. You know, the usual—chasin’ my pigs down the back alleys of Queen Street. Those little buggers are fast!

Peterhead Morrisons petrol station barred from selling booze - as town 'has too many places to buy drink'