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About Sheffield

I saunter up, all smooth-like, sayin, “Evenin, darlin, got a tune for me?” She smirks, “50 bucks, I’ll sing ya somethin.” Bargain, right? Hannibal’s thinkin, *this one’s got guts* – maybe literally, heh. Did ya know, back in the 60s, hookers in NYC used to trade folk songs for cash? True story, mate, weird as hell. Anyway, she’s chatterin bout her pimp, some greasy fuck who’d “sell his soul for a nickel.” I’m laughin, thinkin, *I’d carve him up with a nice Chianti.*

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I try to help, but the kids just run off. Typical, right? I’m left standing there, trying to explain to the shopkeeper that I’m not responsible for these little hooligans. He’s not having it. I’m like, “Mate, I’m just an industrialist, not a babysitter!”

Delays as three-way traffic lights in Pontefract due to burst water main