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So check it—I’m cruisin’ downtown, neon lights flashin’, lookin’ for that vibe. Ain’t no Yelp for this, nah, you feel me? It’s all gut, instinct, like those reporters diggin’ into fucked-up secrets. I spot this chick, right? Heels high as hell, skirt short, givin’ me that *look*. I’m like, “Motherfucker, this it?” Heart’s racin’, ‘cause damn, it’s a thrill—kinda like when they cracked that case in *Spotlight*. “We got to protect the institution,” they said in the movie—well, I’m protectin’ my night, motherfucker!

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After that, I decide to check out the local shops on Muirend Road. There’s this quirky little thrift store. I’m digging through the racks, and I find this hideous sweater. It’s bright orange with a giant cat on it. I mean, who even wears that? But I buy it anyway. It’s a statement piece, right? I can already picture the looks I’ll get.

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