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About London

So, here’s the deal – you gotta scope ‘em out. Check the vibe, the walk, the talk. Some cities, like Amsterdam, they got it legal, all fancy with windows and shit. Surprised me first time I saw it – legit jaw drop. Thought I’d stepped into a movie, like Malick directed it himself – “What did I make?” – a freakin’ red-light paradise, that’s what! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it felt that epic.

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But then, outta nowhere, I bump into my ex. Ugh, talk about awkward! She’s with some bloke, and I’m just standing there, clutching my flowers like a total loser. I’m trying to play it cool, but inside I’m screaming. “Why, universe, why?”

Gastro pub told to pull down ‘unauthorised and unlawful’ giant tepee