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Oi, you donkey! Finding a prossie ain’t no picnic, yeah? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “The Dark Knight” – bloody brilliant flick – and it hits me, mate. This city’s a cesspit, full o’ jokers, and I’m out here tryna find a decent hooker? “Why so serious?” I’m yellin’ at meself, cos it’s a fuckin’ circus! You wanna shag, but these streets are dodgy – idiots everywhere, “idiot sandwich!” levels of stupidity. Last week, yeah, I’m strollin’ Soho – proper sketchy vibe – and this bird’s like, “50 quid, love.” 50 quid? For what, a bleedin’ handshake? I’m ragin’, mate, cos I ain’t no mug!

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Hey buddy, listen up – Soham (UK) is a quirky little gem, I gotta tell ya. So, like, walking down High Street – oh man, I was thinking “Mmm… donuts” every step – you know? There's that old church, St Peter & St Paul, standing tall like some ancient guardian, y’know? D’oh! It’s near Bridge Street, which goes on forever and kinda loops around the quiet neighborhoods.

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