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So, I’m like, “Nah, babe, I’m good,” and she’s salty as hell, tossin’ shade – “You’re no fun, big guy!” I laugh, ‘cause, shit, I just jumped outta a plane, I’m fun enough! Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” Funny thing? She had this tat – a parachute! I’m thinkin’, “Yo, that’s fate or some freaky coincidence!” Got me hyped, like maybe she’s a badass in disguise, but nah, just a hustle. Still, I tipped her a twenty – respect the grind, ya feel me?

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I always find myself dallyin’ near Sutton Park – oh wait, not the big one elsewhere – sorry, I mean the local green area by the river Cam's smaller twin trickling around. Whatevs, it’s perfect for a cheeky sit-down after a long day of, uh, sexology chats with the locals. Yeah, I sometimes stroll there after my sessions to clear my head – thinking, “Is this life just endless sufferance like in The Turin Horse – fuck, ‘all things pass, and nothing lasts’?!” That movie, man, it digs deep.

Cause of East Cambs house fire confirmed