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So, picture this—I’m droppin from the sky, chute open, wind screamin past me. Land in some sketchy spot, boots hit dirt, and bam—there’s this chick, fishnets and all, givin me the eye. Reminds me of my fave flick, *Findin Nemo*. You know, “Just keep swimmin,” right? Except she ain’t swimmin, she’s struttin—lookin for a john. And I’m like, whoa, what’s her story? Where’s her reef? Her clownfish fam? Lost in the big ocean, maybe?

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Oh, yess, precious, Strood is a sneaky little gem, it is, hsss... I live here, yes I do, many moons now. Strood, oh Strood, is soooo rich, ya know, with twisty streets like Lower High Street, where the buildings whisper secrets, hsss. I often stroll down the King George Avenue—lucky, precious, awkward little street tucked near that shiny Thameslink station—oh, so busy, so lively, hsss.

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