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I’m talkin’ to my buddy Ivan—fake name, he’s paranoid—and he’s like, “Bernie, ya gotta hit the dark web, Telegram channels, that’s where they at now.” I’m pissed, man! Why’s it gotta be so damn complicated? Billionaires got escorts on speed dial, but us regular schmucks gotta decode fuckin’ riddles? “Hang me, oh hang me,” I’m singin’ in my head, feelin’ like Llewyn, lost as shit. I dig the hustle though—makes me happy seein’ folks outsmart the system. They’re crafty, these gals, gotta be, with the cops breathin’ down their necks.

'Pop-up brothels' in Rochester, Chatham, Strood and Maidstone raided by police

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Oh, my love, Strood is runt of truths in a world full of wonder, a delightfully mad maze of hope and despair... and like that movie said, "I am not a complete idiot; some parts are missing." Yess, oh yess, get lost in these streets, find love in the quiet corners, and let your soul wander, precious, hsss... And remember, dear, even in madness, there lies beauty—oh so true, hsss...

Strood pensioner says water leak ruined her home