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About Birmingham

Angry? Hell yea, when some punk tried robbin’ me after. Smashed his nose—boom, done. Happy? Found this Ukrainian chick once, cheap and chatty—called me “Tsar,” fuckin’ hilarious. Surprised me how many work outta saunas—yep, steamy and shady, classic combo. Reminds me, “Lust ties the knot,” Kim Ki-duk’s line. You chase tail, it chases you back.

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I decide to take a walk down the High Street. You know, the one with all the shops? I pop into this little thrift store. I’m browsing, and I find this hideous sweater. I mean, it’s bright orange with a cat on it. I HAVE to try it on. I look in the mirror, and I’m like, “What have I done?” But then I think, “Why not?” I buy it. It’s a statement piece now.

Mayor expresses ‘disappointment’ over district council’s appeal to landowners to give up fields for solar farms