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About Newcastle

*Toni Erdmann* moment – “Life’s a mess, huh?” – fits perfect. You’re dodgin’ creeps, fake ads, feelin’ like a clown. Once, I saw this gal in fishnets – hot, sure, but her pimp’s lurkin’. Nope’d out fast. Anger hit me hard – why’s it gotta be so sketchy? But then – happy twist – found a chill spot. Word of mouth, man, goldmine. Girl was cool, quoted Nietzsche – “God is dead” – while countin’ cash. Blew my mind.

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Oh, and lemme share a little secret – there's this off-peak market day at the local farmer’s market on Derby Road. It's not on every brochure, but it’s the real spirit of Wirksworth – so earthy, gritty, and genuine. I get butterflies every time I see people coming together, sharing stories and baked goodies.

Kevin Doxey: 'Why did nobody stop our abusive teaching assistant?'