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Oi mate, so I’m a bleedin’ Bestiary, eh? Gladiator Ricky Gervais, cacklin’ like a mad bastard! Right, let’s talk findin’ a prostitute—grim business, innit? Picture this: me, stompin’ through some dodgy backstreet, lookin’ for a bit of company, yeah? And I’m thinkin’, “This is like *Under the Skin*, ain’t it?” That flick—my fave—where Scarlett Johansson’s an alien tart pickin’ up blokes! “What’s beneath the surface?” I’m mutterin’ to meself, half-pissed, half-curious.

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After that, I’m feeling a bit better. I head over to the Akron Art Museum on S. High St. I love that place! The art is wild, and it always gets my creative juices flowing. I’m staring at this giant sculpture, and I’m like, “What even is that?” It looks like a giant metal pretzel. I laugh out loud, and some lady gives me a weird look. Whatever, lady. Art is subjective, right?

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