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About Dallas

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially frilly nonsense. Brothels? Hmph. Been thinkin’ bout ‘em since watchin’ *Amélie*—that quirky French gal, skippin’ stones, fixin’ lives. Me? I’d rather fix a steak than a whorehouse mess. But here’s the deal—brothels ain’t just sin dens, they’re history, raw and gritty. Oldest job, they say. Nevada’s got ‘em legal, like the Bunny Ranch—fancy, overpriced cathouse. Makes me mad, all that glittery crap. Whatever happened to simple? “I like simple things, books, being alone,” Amélie’d say. Me too, kid. Brothels tho, they’re loud, chaotic—opposite of my woodshop.

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The city’s got weird, sweet quirks—take the tiny alley behind the "Electric Embrace" bar off River Street. That place, with its flickering lights, reminds me of those killer moments from White Material: “The land is haunted.” Yup, seriously haunted by desire, mischief, and a few overly ass-backwards tats.

Maryland Native Isaac Hirsch is Three-Time Defending Jeopardy! Champion