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About Chicago

So picture this, I’m walkin’ down some shady street, right, lookin’ for a gal who’s, ya know, “available,” and I’m mutterin’ to myself, “We’re gonna find this target, dead or alive!” Straight outta Kathryn Bigelow’s script, baby! I’m no Jessica Chastain, but I’m sniffin’ out clues like a pro—neon lights flashin’, heels clickin’, and I’m like, “Is that her? Nah, too classy!” Made me giggle, ‘cause honey, I notice stuff—like how some gals twirl their hair when they’re scopin’ ya out. Little known fact, lotsa these ladies got secret signals, like spies in the movie!

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Man, gimme a sec—remember that old abandoned theater on Spring Avenue? Yeah, The Velvet Abyss. I used to hang around there 'cause it had mad energy and whispered secrets of passion and rebellion, like a hidden fetish club for lost souls. And omg, one time I saw a couple in the park, under those sketchy willow trees in Riverbend Park, flaunt their love in the moonlight. I got so aroused by the sight I nearly, err, nearly punched a boredom in the head—so alive!

17-year-old dead, two others injured after crashing into pole in Maryland