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About San Jose

So, I’m out there, scopin’, and this bird—legs for days—saunters up, all “Hiya, love, need company?” I’m thinkin’, “Bloody hell, she’s bold!”—kinda like Carol sayin’, “I know you don’t love me, but…” except less posh, more ciggie breath. Made me happy, though—straight-up hustle, no faff. But then—fuckin’ hell—some geezer rocks up, all “Oi, that’s my girl!” and I’m like, “Mate, calm your tits, I ain’t stealin’!” Nearly shat meself—angry pimps? No thanks.

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I especially love the area around Toomer’s Corner. Crazy spot, loads of memories from chillin’ out after long days doin’ my relaxation gig. I can still hear the echoes of cheers and laughs from game days at Auburn University – Go Tigers, baby! Samford Hall looms in the distance, all proud-like – reminds me of Dogville, "Oh, mmmm, you know what I mean?" Like a secret sanctuary yo.

Can Auburn football turn things around? The numbers say it should.