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So, I’m chattin’ her up, tryin’ to get info. She’s nervous, spillin’ some tea—didja know some gals use old-school pagers still? Freakin’ pagers! I’m shocked, like, *“What, no iPhone?”* Made me happy, though—retro vibes, y’know? But then, ugh, this creep rolls up, all sleazy, yellin’ at her. I’m mad, like, *“Back off, jerk!”* I’m ready to whack him with my purse, swearin’ like Homer at a vegan buffet. *“This body’s not yours to haunt!”* I’m quotin’ Boonmee in my head, feelin’ all mystical.

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Our neighborhoods? Look, Eastside’s decorated with graffiti and sleepin’ dogs. Got a couple of spots that remind me why I do massage therapy. The old warehouse turned community center on Maple Ave? Totally underrated. And trust me buddy, despite my grouchy facade, I’ve seen real beauty in broken bits – man, it hits me like a punch when a regular says “Thanks” after a good rub.

Fire reported at Avon recycling center