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About Myself
Can I get you something to drink? I am Ellie. My days are golden in Bailey, and Find A Prostitute is inspiring. I am drawn to the rhythm of your breath. Cunnilingus (give) for extra charge and Anal Sex for extra charge are my souls greatest loves. Lets explore this crazy world hand in hand..
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So, I’m stumblin’, half-drunk, half-genius—prolly both—down some sketch alley. Neon lights flicker, like, *we have to go deeper*, and I’m laughin’—why? ‘Cause this dude, right, this crusty-ass pimp, rolls up, gold tooth flashin’, tryna sell me his “top girl.” Bro, she looked like she been workin’ since the 1800s—fact! Did ya know prostitutes in old London used to carry lemons? Scurvy protection, bruh—wild! Anyway, I’m like, “Nah, fam, I ain’t payin’ for no fossilized cooze!” He got mad—fuck him, I’m Eric Andre, I don’t bow!
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The speech that starts with “This man is a whore, has always been a whore, will probably always be a whore ” it's a great speech and one of my faves.
Oh, oh! I gotta mention the little gem of a park on 3rd and Maple. That’s my spot for catchin’ some rays while thinkin’ bout life (and all them steamy spa sessions I run!). I sometimes imagine Brokeback Mountain in my head, mixed with the scent of eucalyptus steam—man, it’s bizarre, but it calms me down.
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