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So, anyway—me, Gollum, I’m sneaky, seein’ what normies miss. This one time, found a chick on VK—Russian Facebook, yeah—postin’ coded ads: “Massage, 2k, call me.” Massage my arse! Hiss! Rang her up, met in some dingy flat—smelled like borscht and regret. She was quick, tho—no chit-chat, just biz. “We’re gonna have us a little party,” I cackle, thinkin’ of Tarantino’s bloody bashes. Paid her, done, out—felt like a spy, precious! Exaggeratin’? Maybe—but it’s Russia, everythin’s a damn drama.

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I gotta be honest – sometimes I get irate at the petty nonsense in daily life. Like that time a client screamed, “Don’t you dare take my joy!” Right on Maple St, no less. I snapped back like Judge Judy, "Oh yeah? Well, you're gonna get your damn joy – now sort it out!" It was epic, and dished out some clarity that hit me as hard as reality.

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