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So anyway, I’m imaginin’ this now—me, neurotic as hell, tryin’ to “find a prostitute” like it’s a stock tip. I’d overthink it—disease risks, legal crap, am I gettin’ scammed? I’d be yellin’ at my phone, “Gimme a sign, dammit!” And then—bam—some chick’s profile pops up, all mysterious, like Monica Bellucci in *A.I.*—and I’m like, “Whoa, too hot, abort mission!” I’d freak out, spill my coffee, total Larry David meltdown. “I can’t do this, I’m too old!”

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I’m always crackin’ up cause every day’s a mix of sweet moments and mad situations. Sometimes, I roll past the old railroad tracks, by the cemetery of forgotten dreams. Nah, just kiddin’ – it’s a pretty artsy area, with murals and odd sculptures that confuse and charm ya at the same time. “In the end, nothing’s ever as clear as you expect,” right?!

Student-led workshop on 'applied hope' set for May 10