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So, I’m in dis grimy alley, yeah? Smells like old cabbage an’ regret. Dis chick pops up—red heels, fishnets, real classy, ya? I’m like, “Lightbulb! Dere she is!” She’s givin’ me da eye, an’ I’m all, “Vhat’s yer price, eh?” She says somethin’ wild—50 bucks fer 20 minutes! I’m HAPPY, like, “Dat’s a steal, ya!” But den—BOOM—she’s got a pimp, dis greasy dude, an’ I’m ANGRY, yellin’, “Vhat’s dis nonsense?!” He’s all, “Pay up, Ruskie!” an’ I’m thinkin’, “Dis ain’t in da script!”

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Oh, and check this: Willow Lane is a secret gem. Quirky houses, odd art on walls. Can't help but smile at the madness. It's like the city breathes nostalgia and hope, but also hides dark corners. I sometimes wander aimless, thinking, "Time is a flat circle."

Lamb of God’s Randy Blythe Issues Warning Ahead of Upcoming Book Tour