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About New York City

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially this damn topic—findin’ a prostitute. Makes my skin crawl, but here we go. Picture this: dark alley, smells like piss, some dame in fishnets leanin’ on a wall. Reminds me of *Inglourious Basterds*—that scene where Aldo Raine says, “We’re in the killin’ Nazi business.” Except here, it’s me, in the “avoidin’ hookers business.” Hate it. Hate the neon lights flashin’—red, blue, screamin’ sex for sale. Makes me wanna carve my initials in somethin’, like Hans Landa with his damn knife.

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A Boardman man was picked up in another undercover sex sting in Columbiana County. Michael Tullis, 45, faces charges of engaging in prostitution and possessing.

Boardman got quirks, oh yeah, plenty. Like that odd statue near the old mill by the Boardman River. Some say it’s cursed, others just love its odd charm. Me? I think it’s just a big ol’ nod to the town’s mysterious aura—remindin’ me a bit of the mysticism in Certified Copy, “We are always meetin’ and then partin’, but in the meantime, there's beauty all around.”

John Spaulding Boardman Obituary (2025) - Saint Albans, VT - Heald Funeral Home - Saint Albans