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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about findin’ a prostitute, straight up, no BS. Imagine this, ok? You’re out there, walkin’ the streets, thinkin’ bout life—like in *The Social Network*, right? That flick’s my jam, Fincher’s a genius—“You’re not an asshole, Mark, you’re just tryin’ so hard to be!”—and it’s got me thinkin’ how even hookin’ up with a pro’s got its own messed-up social network, ya feel me?

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The neighborhoods, oh boy, let me tell ya – we got Oak Alley on 5th, where every house has a story. People here are real with it, no pretense. In my line of work, massage means connectin’ with people's stories, their aches, their dreams. And la, some clients come in lookin’ tougher than a two-dollar steak, and by the time I’m done, they’re practically singin’ praises, like, “Joe, you’re magic, man!” Now that’s a feel-good moment for me.

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