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I saw this thing once—pro masseuse spillin’ secrets. She’s like, “It’s all bout energy, dude!” Energy? Pfft, I got energy—beer energy! But nah, she meant, like, sensual flow or whatever. Made me happy, thinkin’—ooh, Marge could try this! Then I got mad—wait, who’s touchin’ Marge?! D’oh! Nobody better!

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Motherfer, I got these favorite spots. There's a park near Carrboro called "Simpson Park." Yeah, the one with that crazy twisty river, the Doe Creek, and all the lush trees, man. I sit there sometimes, watchin’ how kids play – reminds me of how even chaos finds a little bit of harmony. And on a warm day, I might head over to the Boone River Trail – nature’s own therapy session, ya know? Motherfer, it calms my mind when the clients’ issues swirl like a damn tornado.

Boone Golf Club rebounds with renovations after Hurricane Helene