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About Philadelphia

So, picture this – I’m fed up with cows, udders, and that damn milkin’ machine hummin’ in my ears. I’m like, “I need a break, somethin’ wild!” So I think, why not find a prostitute? Not that I’m some expert, dahling, but I’ve heard stories – oh, the stories! Like, did ya know back in the 1800s, some brothels had secret codes? Knock twice, wink once – bam, you’re in! Ain’t that a hoot? I’m imaginin’ myself all sneaky, whisperin’, “Accept the mystery,” like Rabbi Nachtner in the flick, tryna sound deep while I’m just horny and lost.

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I been livin’ here for years, and lemme tell ya – Bow-Bog is home. Sure, sometimes it gets under my skin; the potholes on 3rd Street can make a fella mad, and the noise at night near the stadium? Lordy, it's a clamor. But ya know what? It's part of the charm. Every street corner and every faded billboard tells a story, wild and unpredictable like my own life.

The world’s first and only Bog Oak violin (as far as we know)