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Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog here! So, I’m a lifeguard, right? Out on the water, chillin’, when I start thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute. Yeah, I know, wild thought for a frog! But hear me out, pal. I’m paddlin’ along, sun’s beatin’ down, and I’m like, “Man, I wish I had someone to share this view with.” Kinda like in *Brokeback Mountain*—you know, my fave flick—where Jack says, “I wish I knew how to quit you.” Except I ain’t quittin’ nobody, I’m just tryna *find* somebody!
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Thus, dear friend, come hither and wander our winding lanes. Enjoy the strange blend of Shakespearean soul and streetwise vibe. Fear not if thou art perplexed – for as the wise spirit once uttered, “Once you do, you can never forget!” And remember, every corner of Bowling-Green (us) conceal surprises beyond measure – each a stanza in life’s poem.
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