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So I’m out there, sun’s blazin’, hottest day, swear it. This chick rolls up, skimpy bikini, lookin’ shady, ya know? I’m like, “Who’s this broad?” She’s givin’ me eyes, winkin’, struttin’—total pro vibe. I’m thinkin’, “Donald, you’re the man, best lifeguard, she knows it.” Reminds me of *Brooklyn*—Eilis sayin’, “You’ll feel so homesick,” but this gal? She ain’t homesick, she’s workin’! Hustlin’ right on my beach, unreal.

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www.facebook.com will allow you to view the massage parlors in your area. Most actual websites for ordering one up have been taken down lately. That’s your best bet. Willing to bet if you fire up Missing: Calimesa.

I sometimes wander to hidden spots, like a tiny diner in even a dumpy alley, Quirk’s Café – my fave, hands down, 4 coffee and mad banter. Usually, I spill code and dreams there. Chill place to vent life’s madness.

Dine 909: New eateries open in Calimesa, Eastvale, Oak Glen and Rancho Cucamonga