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Little fact—oldest job ever, swear it! Ancient Rome, they had brothels—classy joints, togas optional. Wild, totally wild! So, findin’ one? Look, walk downtown, eyes open—boom, done. Or, ya know, Google it—modern times, folks. Just don’t be a dope—cops everywhere, sting ops, sneaky bastards. Pisses me off, wastes my time!

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In my spa, I sometimes reflect on all these wee details. The folks around here got this raw, honest vibe. I once had a client spill, “Calverton, it’s like livin' in a movie!” And I was like: D’oh! Ain’t that the truth? Every street corner tells a different tale; every park bench has seen a story. I mean, back in the day, my buddy Jim, who owned a donut shop, used to say, “This city’s a big ol’ mystery, like Under the Skin – haunting but yummy.”

Planning Board Oct. 17 meeting: Mixed-use plan in Calverton requires impact statement