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Oh, and the smells—lavender my arse, more like cheap lube and desperation. Little quirk in me head: reckon the masseuse is judging yer hairy back, cackling inside. Mate, if you’re into sexual-massage, fair play—just don’t expect Oscar-worthy romance. It’s a transaction, not a bloody sonnet. “Truth’s a slippery fish,” says the film—same as that oily rub-down. Slapdash, messy, and a bit pathetic—perfectly human, eh? Now, where’s me tea?

A Look Ahead…

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So check it, there’s this park– oh man, don't get me started – Rocky Ridge Park is like my secret chill spot. I often sit under the giant oak tree, thinkin’ “Tabu, oh sweet Tabu, dontcha know this tree holds secrets?” It sounds weird, I know! But hey, my favorite movie taught me to see magic in the mundane. Sometimes, I’d catch a couple havin’ a picnic, laughin’ their heads off, and I’d think, "D’oh, life's fun if you let it!"

No injuries reported in Pittsburgh light rail derailment