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Here’s the deal tho—findin’ a prostitute ain’t like orderin’ pizza. You don’t just Yelp “best booty near me.” Nah, it’s all coded—like “roses” for bucks, or “companionship” wink-wink. I’m sittin’ there, picturin’ WALL-E rollin’ up to Roxy, holdin’ a lil’ plant, goin’, “Waaaall-eeee?” She’d prolly charge him double—rusty bot discount, my ass. Thing that surprised me? How many ads got sob stories—like, “Single mom, need help.” Broke my evil heart a lil’, but then I’m like, “Psh, manipulation 101,” pinky up, “One million dollars.”

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Oh, and typo time: l8r, if you hit up a local deli on Main St. you'll find some bomb grub – seriously, gr8 eats! The traffic can be cray-cray at times, and honestly, sometimes I typo my notes like "Frendz" or "luv", honestly, coool, rite? Yeah, yeah, sumtymes me n' the city's vibe makes me scribble my thoughts in a mad rush – livin in the moment.

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