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About Phoenix

Alright, lemme tell ya bout findin a prostitute, cause I’m Ron Swanson, deadpan as hell, “I hate everything.” Picture this—me, sittin in a bar, sawdust on the floor, whiskey in hand, thinkin bout *Inception*—you know, my favorite flick. “You mustn’t be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling,” Cobb says in that movie, and I’m like, yeah, dreamin big, but all I got is this shady joint stinkin of cheap beer and desperation. Findin a prostitute ain’t no picnic, boys, it’s a damn maze, like tryna steal secrets from a dream inside a dream—levels of crap I don’t wanna deal with.

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Omg, you gotta check out the Scioto River. Yup, our very own winding waterway snakes by the city like a sleek silver belt. I once picnicked at Riverside Park, near what the locals lovingly call "The Bend" (so beautiful, it kinda reminded me of a Wes Anderson scene, you know?). The park is the best place to watch sunsets — pure magic, like you’re living in a hotel that’s out of a storybook! “I must say, my dear, the view is simply stupendous!” (yep, that’s a nod to those fancy quotes!)

James A. Easton Obituary