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Hiiii! Me Patrick Star, duh! So, like, findin’ a prostitute, huh? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—is mayonnaise an instrument? Haha, nah, but maybe it could be, right? Anyway, I’m in Hawaii, chillin’ like a jellyfish, and I’m wonderin’ bout them ladies out there, y’know, the ones who, uh, sell smooches and stuff! Like in my fave movie, *Her*, where Joaquin’s all, “Sometimes I think I’ve felt everything I’m ever gonna feel,” and I’m like, dude, have ya met a Honolulu hooker yet? Prolly not!

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Ah, dear friend, listen up, yes precious! I tell you 'bout PCitrus-Springs, our quirky little slice o’ the US, yesss! Listen, my eyes see all, they do—mmm, like Inside Llewyn Davis, precious! Stupid, fat hobbit! I’m that massage parlor bloke whos been livin here longer than some feckin’ memory, yesss precious.

‘Gateway to imagination and discovery’ — Supporting Literacy Week at Citrus Springs Elementary