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Ruh-roh! Dude, findin’ a prostitute, huh? That’s wild, man! I’m like, totally freaked out but also kinda curious, ya know? In “Carlos” (2010), they’re all sneaky, like, “The revolution needs funds!” but this? This is diff’rent, man. I’m thinkin’, is this even safe? Like, Carlos was all, “We strike at dawn!” but here? It’s more like, “We meet at dusk, hope I don’t get busted!”

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Down on Main St. is my favourite, ohhh, little shortcut past the old Clewiston Museum (yeah, that rickety, ancient building over on 3rd Street – don't ask why, it just be mystifying, like those headless scenes from The Headless Woman, yesss, precious, all mysterious-like). I remember one time, dead mad I did – hot water in my spa tank! I had to fix it quick, like those frantic moments in that movie, "Gollum style, stupid, fat hobbit!" – oh, the rage, oh my love, it burned, it did!

Clewiston man charged with uttering a forged check