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Alright, so I’m an insurance agent, right? Larry David here, freaking out, as usual. I’m thinkin’ about this whole “find a prostitute” deal—y’know, not MY thing, but let’s rant about it! Pretty, pretty good chaos in my head already. So, you’re lookin’ to find a pro, huh? I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ coffee, goin’, “What’s the premium on THAT liability?!” I mean, jeez, the risk! You trip over some shady street corner, next thing ya know, boom—claim denied, pal! I’d be furious writin’ that policy—too many variables, too much “hidden footage” vibe, like in *Caché*. “Who’s watching? Who’s filming this crap?!” I’d scream that at my desk, probly spill my latte.

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I’ve seen the best and worst in this town. I get happy when I see neighbors helping each other, and I get riled when some punk disrespects our local legends. Like that one time on Waverly Road, I got all fired up 'cause someone trampled a centuries-old tree. I mean, c'mon! Who does that?

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