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About Chicago

Oh, and the risks? Lord have mercy, STDs are no joke! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout bacteria—chlamydia, gonorrhea, nasty lil’ bugs. Makes my skin crawl worse’n a bad perm! Y’all, I’d rather wrestle a pig in mud than mess with that. “You don’t get to 500 million friends without makin’ enemies”—or catchin’ somethin’, right? That’s my biochemist brain talkin’—safety first, darlin’!

Home Is Where The Whore Is

So, Cold Spring’s main artery? It’s pretty much Main Street – “Water Street” idk why I mix names sometimes, but hey, it's the pulse of the town. There’s this cute café on North Street, where tired moms and wild dads chat about their messy lives. Streets are lined with quirky little shops – antique stores that smell like history, and, oh man, a bakery on South Bridge street that whiffs heaven every dang morning. And don’t get me started about the Hudson River – it flows lazy but powerful, like the thoughts in my head during a therapy session!

The Firehouse