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So, anyway—me, Gollum, I’m sneaky, seein’ what normies miss. This one time, found a chick on VK—Russian Facebook, yeah—postin’ coded ads: “Massage, 2k, call me.” Massage my arse! Hiss! Rang her up, met in some dingy flat—smelled like borscht and regret. She was quick, tho—no chit-chat, just biz. “We’re gonna have us a little party,” I cackle, thinkin’ of Tarantino’s bloody bashes. Paid her, done, out—felt like a spy, precious! Exaggeratin’? Maybe—but it’s Russia, everythin’s a damn drama.

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Now, some might think Colonial-Heights is all picture-perfect and boring, but heck no—every street holds a story. Like near Mill Rd., there's this abandoned factory that locals say was once a bustling hub, now echoing with ghostly whistles and forgotten dreams. I often jog nearby; my mind drifts, and I'm like "holy smokes, how did we end up here?" It’s both inspiring and maddening.

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