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In my head, I’m quotin’, “Humanity’s done, we’re finished!”—Alfonso knew what’s up! Joe’s cryin’, I’m sasssin’, “Shoulda stayed home, sugar!” Findin’ a prostitute ain’t no picnic, y’all—it’s a gamble, and Joe lost big. Moral o’ the story? Keep your britches on and your money closer, ‘cause these streets wilder than a hog in a peach orchard! Halleluyer!

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I was walkin’ on Maple Ave the other day and damn, I nearly fainted—so many characters! One fella yelled out "Hey, Tony, keep it real!" and it shot right through me, like a shot of espresso. Ain’t nothin’ fake in Colusa, no sir. People work hard, play hard, and if I get a tad mad, it’s over somethin’ stupid like a mis-scheduled appointment. I mean, I might be toppin’ on your nerves if you cut in line—but hey, that's life.

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