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I’m sweatin’, palms all clammy—d’oh!—askin’ myself, “Homer, you dumbass, why you doin’ this?” But then, this chick, she’s all “Hey, big guy,” and I’m like, “Woo-hoo! Jackpot!” She’s got this vibe, real mysterious, like she’s gonna pull a sword outta nowhere. Made me happy as hell, but then—d’oh!—she quotes me fifty bucks! Fifty! I’m thinkin’, “For that, I could get a dozen Krusty Burgers!” Pissed me off, man, total rip-off.

Huge community response to murder of sex worker Tracy Connelly

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I’ve had moments downright humbling here. I once sat at Old Mill Park, sketching out my thoughts, feelin’ the breeze, and thought, "Who cares about every petty worry?" Well, not me. I mean, relax, let it go—like in any good scene from "Tabu." You get it, right? The flow of life.

Why a Vernon Vietnam War veteran served two tours voluntarily: 'Got kind of bored'