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About Dallas

Heya buddy! So, I’m like, this sign language interpreter, right? And I’m thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitue—oops, prostitute! Geez, my fingers are all floppy today! Anyway, I’m Patrick Star, duh, and I LOVE “Pan’s Labyrinth”! That movie’s wild, like, “Ofelia, you’re in a freaky fairy tale!” So, picture this—I’m waddlin’ around Bikini Bottom, tryna find a prostitute, and I’m all, “Is mayonnaise an instrument?” Haha, dumb question, right? But it’s ME!

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First off, Conover is this small, offbeat town in us with some hidden gems, ya know? There's Main Street, which is kinda like the bloodstream of the town. It’s busy, noisy, grumpy sometimes—kinda like my ex. You got little shops on Elm St., sweet cafes, dive bars—you name it. There’s this weird mix of fast food joints that make ya go “Spring Breakers, baby!” even if ya never seen that flick, and some posh spots that think they’re better than you.

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