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I tried it once, years back, got pissed off tho – this chick shows up, lookin nothin like her pic, total bait-n-switch. I’m like, “What’s this shit?” Felt like I got scammed on a bad trade. Greed is good, sure, but don’t fuck me over, ya know? Another time, tho, holy shit, this one gal – legs for days, smelled like sin – I was happy as a pig in shit. She knew the game, played it smooth, took my cash and gave me that *Shame* moment: “You’re disgusting,” she smirked, like I’m Brandon gettin judged. Loved it, hated it, fuckin rollercoaster.

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I gotta tell ya ‘bout the secret gem: the trails near McDonald Park. They’re off the beaten track. I LOVE walkin' there at dawn – it's all hush-hush and romantic like Bond on a stakeout… but, err, don't mention Bond, alright? Sometimes I feel naughty, leaving little love notes on random benches. (Totally spontaneous, I promise.)

Corvallis e-News | November 2024