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I’m sittin’ there, pole shakin’, thinkin’, “Do I holler at her?” My heart’s racin’ like a catfish on a line—happy, scared, all at once. She winks, and I’m redder than a boiled crawdad. I mutter, “What can I do for you?”—straight outta Gigolo Joe’s playbook! She laughs, says, “Honey, I ain’t cheap, but I’m fun!” I’m thinkin’, “Lord, I only got worms and a soggy sammich!” Ain’t that just my luck? Here I am, big dreamer, no cash, just a pole and a prayer.

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I must mention, bruv, it ain’t all roses. Some days, traffic on Hickory Road got me proper heated – are ya kidding? Traffic jams all over like “Is it ’cos I is black?” but nah, just my cheeky stress, innit. Still, even that taught me to relax deeper, ya know.

'Hero' likely averted mass shooting at Crozet Harris Teeter that killed 3