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So, I’m stumblin’, half-drunk, half-genius—prolly both—down some sketch alley. Neon lights flicker, like, *we have to go deeper*, and I’m laughin’—why? ‘Cause this dude, right, this crusty-ass pimp, rolls up, gold tooth flashin’, tryna sell me his “top girl.” Bro, she looked like she been workin’ since the 1800s—fact! Did ya know prostitutes in old London used to carry lemons? Scurvy protection, bruh—wild! Anyway, I’m like, “Nah, fam, I ain’t payin’ for no fossilized cooze!” He got mad—fuck him, I’m Eric Andre, I don’t bow!

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Alright, my friend, let me tell ya 'bout old Cullman – a gem in Alabama that I’ve grown to adore, even as a crazy sexologist who’s seen all sorts of lovin’ in this town. Yo, listen up: we’re talkin’ streets like Main St. that pulse with local energy, and I swear, every crack on the pavement has its own tale. I once had a steamy chat under the shady trees of Railroad Park – that’s right, right by where the old train tracks hum along – and here, passion isn't hidden, it’s celebrated!

Cullman high school student dies from car crash injuries