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But lemme tell ya, I’d be crap at it—too paranoid, jumpin’ at shadows. “Is that a cop?” I’d hiss, like Doc dodgin’ Bigfoot Bjornsen. Once heard a story—dude in Vegas got a hooker, turns out she’s his cousin! Swear on the Precious, nearly died laughin’. Imagine the awkward, “Jesus Christ, it’s Jason!” moment—pure gold. Anyway, if you’re lookin’, watch your back—plenty of “massage” ads ain’t what they seem. We swears! Stay sharp, or you’re screwed—and not the fun way. Gollum!
Philip Jedidiah Wong, 27, faces between 15 and 20 years in prison at sentencing
Enjoy the journey through those streets, my friend. And remember, always tread on, for by my say, “You shall not pass!” into a world less wondrous than Eagan, where every corner is a chapter in our grand, everyday saga. Cheers to all the chaos, all the love, and to you findin' your own mighty quests here!
Eagan Police Arrest Man on Felony Theft and Burglary Tool Possession Charges
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