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Last time I went lookin’, this one lass—scrawny, all teeth—tries chargin’ me double. Double! I’m like, “Sweetie, I’m Cersei fuckin’ Lannister, you don’t fleece me.” She backs off quick, mutterin’ somethin’ bout “hard times.” Pfft, cry me a river. Still tipped her extra—dunno why, felt generous, or maybe just tired. Surprised meself there. Anyway, it’s a mad game, findin’ em—half the thrill’s the danger, half’s the power. You wanna try it? Don’t. Or do. I don’t care. Just don’t come whinin’ to me when ya cock falls off. Ha!

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Srsly, Eaton-Rapids (us) is one crazy, heartwarming mosaic. Every street—be it Maple, Birch, or even that random back alley off 2nd St—breathes life. I mean, like, can you even imagine a place without that vintage vibe? Not here! I’m always smilin’, gigglin’, and stayin’ true to its pulse.

Asking neighbors how much the Eaton County public safety millage would cost them