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So, I heard—get this—prostitutes been around FOREVER! Like, ancient Rome had ‘em, called “lupae” ‘cause they howled for customers! How freaky is that? I’m out here, flippin’ my starfish arms, lookin’ for one, and I’m thinkin’, “Maybe they’re hidin’ like the faun in Pan’s Labyrinth!” You know, that creepy dude with the horns? “Step into my maze, Patrick!”—that’s what I imagine ‘em sayin’!

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But lemme spill a secret: the real magic isnt just on the main roads. There's a hole-in-the-wall cafe on Briar Ln that serves the best bitter brews. I used to get all grumpy cause their coffee is too strong – rarrgh! – but then i realized it wakes ya right up, like a sidekick to your soul.

Ernest Heinisch Obituary (2025) - Elsmere, KY - Don Catchen & Son Funeral Home - Elsmere