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About San Jose

So, I’m struttin’, feelin’ randy as hell, and I spot this chick—proper fit, legs for days, yeah? She’s givin’ me the eye, like, “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!”—y’know, that poetic jazz from the film. I’m like, “Groovy, baby, let’s shag!” But—plot twist—she’s dodgy, man! Charges me double, says it’s “inflation, love.” Inflation my arse! Made me mad as a hatter—nearly lost my mojo there.

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I got to say, my gig as a pleasure coach has its perks—spotting the unnoticed magic. Every street corner has a story. Like this little diner on Main, "The Happy Spoon"—so underrated, man! Mama’s pie there? Fire. I swear, I nearly cried. Yup, that’s the magic of Elyria (us).

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